June 2017

An Ode to IVF

Rachel

Down, down further I go, sinking into the abyss,

What can I do? Where should I go? Have I been amiss?

I try to see above the tide, looking for the light,

But all I see is darkness there, no shining beam in sight.

 

My soul it feels so empty now, with nothing there but hope,

But now it too withers and burns as my heart it tries to grope.

The strain within my body cries “please let me out!”

I ignore the pleas and icy freeze and block out the distant shout.

 

All around me everywhere I observe the baby cry,

Do these people know how much I wish I could just lie?

Pretend it’s happening as well to me, I’m going to be a mother!

To torment my mind in such a way just brings pain to so many others.

 

And so the battle begins again, lets line up the drugs and smile,

And try to forget the constant ache that makes it all so vile.

The hands of fate will make a choice, do we get our wish or not?

And when all is said and done again, we’ll have given it our best shot.

 

 

 

Published by Rachel

6 thoughts on “An Ode to IVF”

  1. Wow Rachel, this is amazing. I’m totally feeling that way at the moment (I’ve come down with shingles on top of everything else!), so reading this really helped me remember I’m not the only one feeling this way. Love the way it’s written, take care xx

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    1. Thank you so much! I am just away to read your latest post; i’m so sorry to hear about the shingles! That is obviously a sign you are really run down so you need to look after yourself missus! I hope you’re managing to relax and not in too much pain? Take care of yourself, easier said than done I know – sometimes I find I can look after the physical but not so much the emotional side lol. Hope you’re ok xxx

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  4. This totally explains the way I feel, especially now approaching the date for our 2nd IVF cycle. I’m so happy to be able to try again and yet so scared at the same time. I don’t know how to feel going into it for a 2nd time. Our first IVF cycle was so emotional, from finding out the 4 follicles turned into just one cause the others were only cysts which burst and 3 days before our planned egg retrieval we only had one, which gave a good egg, which grew into a good embryo but just did not stick. We are praying for more eggs this time around… Good Luck with your next cycle.

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