It was on the way home from meeting our new niece that Dave blurted out that he was fed up of waiting and suggested we look into private IVF treatment. I was quite shocked but sensed that he had reached his limit. With anything fertility related it’s always the woman that receives the most attention, after all it’s the woman that has to go through all the unpleasant procedures and ultimately it’s the woman’s body that either responds to the treatment or doesn’t. The man’s job (apart from the obvious!) is to hand hold and wipe away the tears.
As much as Dave and I are a team 100%, he is an extremely strong person and it takes a lot for him to show emotion. It’s usually me that’s a blubbering wreck and Dave lifts me up with positive vibes and a nice big cuddle.
I don’t know if it was just seeing yet another new-born baby that wasn’t ours, or seeing his younger brother becoming a dad to another perfect little princess, but something in Dave snapped and timing was suddenly vital.
Of course we’d discussed having private treatment when we were first told that we needed IVF, but the costs are just so high, and whilst we are fortunate that it is something we can afford, the fact that you are given the exact same treatment on the NHS made it seem silly to opt for private treatment.
The one thing that private treatment gives you however is a nice big queue jump. At first I felt awash with guilt that we would be pushing in front of other infertile couples who had been waiting a long time, however I realised a long time ago that sometimes you have to be selfish and I decided this was one of those times. I’m 35 this year and Dave is 38 so we’re not getting any younger and when a woman turns 35 you immediately jump into a new category where IVF is concerned, where your chances of conceiving from treatment are significantly reduced and trust me, the statistics are not fabulous to begin with so we really wanted to just get things moving as quickly as possible.
I enquired about private treatment the very next day and funnily enough discovered that we could get it at the exact same NHS hospital clinic where we were currently being treated. I don’t quite understand how it works but the good thing was that we were already registered there and knew some of the staff so we weren’t completely starting again.
We had a consultation a few weeks after our first enquiry and were invited to an information evening with approximately 20 other couples, where the head doctor of the fertility clinic carried out a powerpoint presentation of every stage we would be going through during our IVF cycle. As I looked around the room it was actually a huge relief to see that there were lots of other couples going through the exact same thing we were; and they were a range of ages and all shapes and sizes!
The one thing the clinic always tries to reinforce to you is to not get your hopes up. I wouldn’t say I am a Positive Polly in every day life anyway, more of a Realistic Rachel, however I had begun reading books on positivity (which I will discuss more in later blogs) and realised that we had to try and remain positive otherwise the feelings and emotions that things could go wrong, would overwhelm us.
After another appointment with a consultant later in the week we were on course for starting our treatment. Throughout this blog I will be going through every appointment, procedure, up and down that we encounter however I will not be stating the exact treatment dates, simply because we do not want the pressure of people asking us how things went. At the moment we have started our treatment and a normal IVF cycle usually takes between 8-10 weeks so the next few months will be very challenging for us, but we’re really optimistic for a positive outcome and hopefully a lovely little baby to call our own.